Cats > Dogs

It’s time for people to understand once and for all why cats are better than dogs.  Aside from the fact that a dog who needs to pee can’t tell the difference between your carpet and the back yard, there is one simple, experimental fact that separates cats and dogs:

• Maximum amount of time we can leave our cats alone in the house without having to worry about them destroying the house or each other: seven days. (It might be longer.)
• Maximum amount of time we can leave our dog alone in the house without having to worry about her destroying the house or herself: twelve hours, on a good day.  (On an average day, maybe six hours.)

Simply put, dogs are helpless animals.  They can’t feed themselves, bathe themselves, go to bathroom, or get any kind of exercise without your help.  If we left our dog alone for a week, she would literally starve to death, after she turned every room into a toilet.  She can’t take care of herself.  The cats, on the other hand, are limited only by the fact they can’t draw fresh water from the faucet.  They can open a bag of food, use a litter box, and wash themselves.  The get exercise by sprinting in circles around the living room.  I don’t know why they like this, but I’m impressed neither slams into the wall or the furniture and suffers a broken neck.  Anyway, as much as I like her, the dog is hopelessly outclassed.

Your thoughts?

Sarah at ACE

This is my daughter Sarah:

Sarah participated with her teammates representing Prince Edward County Middle School at the ACE Quiz Bowl at Blue Stone High School, in southeastern Virginia, on September 25.  She was awesome.